"The Pregnancy Journal"

My dear friend and coworker, who has been such a support throughout this journey, sent me "The Pregnancy Journal" by A. Christine Harris. It looks like a spiral-bound notebook and tells me what is happening on each day of the pregnancy, and then gives me places to make comments, notate my weight and waist size, check off symptoms, etc. It's fascinating to read every day what is happening inside my body - and also to be able to log a little bit about what's going on. So perfect for me!

Before going into the day-by-day descriptions, there are questions to answer to help you process everything. I enjoyed answering them, and want to share them here.

Was your pregnancy planned or a surprise?
Planned to the utmost!

When did you begin to think about having this baby?
For so many years! But real planning began in July 2013.

When did you first suspect you were pregnant?
The day before our blood test because my breasts were slightly swollen - but didn't believe it!

When your pregnancy was confirmed, how did you react?
I shrieked and ran to Nicole, then soon started trembling and crying. I was in such happy shock!

How long did it take to become pregnant? Did it seem quick or slow?
Slowww! It took six months, five very expensive cycles, and two donors.

What is the best thing about being pregnant?
Knowing my body is capable of partnering with God to create life, being treated so special, imagining what our family will be like, feeling the changes in me.

What challenges do you foresee with this pregnancy?
Medical complications due to my high blood pressure and slightly high blood sugar. Adoption process for Nicole. Hearing ignorant, offensive, or otherwise hurtful remarks and questions.

Who were the first to know you were pregnant and what were their reactions?
Our parents and siblings, our clergy, and our close friends who have supported us all along the way. They were surprised and ecstatic!

What was the first thing you bought specifically for this baby?
Nicole bought a "Lil Mets Fan on Board" car sticker a few years ago!

What hopes and dreams do you have for your baby?
I want our baby to be happy, healthy, and whole. I want our child to learn from their mistakes and not be defeated by them. I want our child to be kind and compassionate and be committed to making the world a better place in whatever way they are called to do so. I want him/her to always feel LOVED.

What are the most important qualities you can nurture as a parent?
Finding balance between firmness and flexibility, being unconditionally affectionate, letting your child learn through their own exploration and experience, providing consistency and guidance.

What were the best things about your parents as parents?
Their love for each other, their high expectations of us, their playfulness and affection, their focus on family as first priority.

What role do you see your family playing in your baby's life?
Support, extra hands when we need help, traditions, giving our child a sense of deep belonging and being surrounded by love and adoration.

Have you picked any names? What names would you consider?
I don't want to say yet because we have only just scratched the surface of that discussion!

Are there names to which you would say, "Absolutely not!"?
Probably a ton.

Do you want to know as soon as you can if it's a girl or a boy? Why or why not?
No - finding that out at birth is one of the few special surprises left in life - and it doesn't matter!

What one thing do you want your baby to be sure to have that you didn't?
Stability - one neighborhood, one school, one synagogue, friends for life.

Whose facial and physical characteristics do you want your baby to inherit?
Nicole, to keep people from just assuming I was the one pregnant.

Whose emotional and personality characteristics do you want your baby to inherit?
The best of both! Loyalty, compassion, reason and passion balanced, playfulness, commitment.

What tasks do you need to accomplish before the baby is born?
Pay off the credit card we used for this cycle. Secure daycare. Enjoy our final months as a family of two - go to a show, spend time in the city, take a trip that we wouldn't do with a child. Read and learn a lot! Start adoption process with a lawyer. Create wills.